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I have experienced more emotional pain and physical discomfort than I’d like to admit. Hitting rock bottom is a place that became all too familiar for me. I was in a vicious cycle of lies, denial, and destructive behaviors that I was oblivious to for most of my life.

From an outsider’s perspective, you may not think that life has been hard for me. I was given everything I wanted and needed to succeed and have beautiful life experiences, but I was constantly tortured by my own thoughts. My desire to be seen, to be appreciated for my gifts, and to feel fully accepted by my family and friends was brutally painful and frustrating. So, I did what I thought would help––I self-soothed through disassociation. I used this tactic for most of my life, without realizing. I was consumed by emotions that I didn’t know how to manage, and I would even go so far as to throw things just to watch them break. Each New Year’s Eve I would say to myself, “This year will surely be different than the last, it has to be, right? I’m overdue for something good to happen in my life.” But I was clueless. I hated myself, I didn’t know what self-love was.

I grew up in a co-dependent household lacking personal boundaries. The concept of self-love wasn’t taught; it didn’t exist. I was taught to put others' needs before mine, to stay quiet (out of the way, essentially), and not to talk about myself. I was discouraged from feeling or expressing my emotions—good or bad—they were dismissed, leaving me feeling alone and invalidated. I was painfully shy and extremely petite, and I was often teased in school. I lived my youth and young adult life training to become a professional ballet dancer, which, while it was a highly competitive and toxic environment, seemed a bit of an escape from school. Though I loved dancing, I hated myself––it was normal for me to hate the way I looked; my body, my hair, my skin, nothing was good enough. And, unfortunately, the competition at this level wasn’t exactly promoting self-love. I was consumed with emotions that I didn’t understand, and I didn’t know how to cope with the highs and lows I was feeling. I didn’t know who to talk to, but I knew that I needed help. Overwhelmed, I was self-destructing. I was going through my one life as if I was in a boat without a paddle. 

I developed a shopping addiction which quickly led to ridiculous amounts of credit card debt; I struggled with multiple eating disorders, and suffered through emotionally abusive, highly toxic relationships. My self-worth was non-existent, though, if you had asked me, I would have denied it. I was ignorant, I had no idea what it meant to have high self-worth. I thought dressing head-to-toe in designer clothes provided me with the confidence I desired and automatically increased my cachet. That where you vacationed, where you dined, where you lived––every detail––defined who you were.

I lived my life constantly seeking approval and validation from other people, and, if I didn’t receive it, I felt even more alone and horribly empty. This emptiness inhabited my being, compounded my toxic habitual thinking, and also managed to intensify my destructive crutches. I had become an addict to my unserving behaviors, and I did what I needed to self-soothe without thinking about the damaging consequences. I struggled with finding my place in the world––what would I do? I realized much later in my life that I had been numb to my emotions and true desires, for they were buried under years of shame, guilt, fear, and crowding self-doubt, while trying to achieve perfection. And, I wasn’t doing this for myself. I was doing this with the hope of people seeing me and liking me. 

I embraced my definition of perfectionism because it gave me a sense of control in a similar way my eating disorders carried me through my youth and young adult life. I had no power in other areas of my life, but I could manage what I ate. If I was a certain weight and dressed to the nines, I could fool both myself and others into thinking I had it together; and that gave me a sense of peace. However, inside, I was so deeply unraveled that I wanted to die. Death was something I thought about frequently. I wondered how I would do it. Taking my own life seemed like the only solution to ease my pain and take away this horrible suffering. 

This cycle went on for far too long. It led me from one toxic, narcissistic relationship to another, each one lowering my self-worth even more than the last. I was desperately lonely, even when I was in a relationship. What did I do to deserve this constant emotional distress? I was so hungry to be saved, to be married, because the unbearable fear of being alone for the rest of my life was devastating.

It breaks my heart to reflect on the pain I experienced. It seems to have taken forever to understand how to love and take care of myself. When I finally had the courage to admit that my life had fallen apart, that I was lost, and that, at some point, I turned away from my truth in order to “belong” and become a character that didn’t resonate with my heart and soul, I seeked help. With the support of family, friends, therapists, healers, and amazing coaches, I can tell you that I am now on my path. I began to flourish and expand in ways I had never witnessed before, because I finally allowed myself to do so. Before long, I felt like me again, that little girl I once knew––free, excited, hopeful, happy, fearless, confident––the sweet beautiful souls we are born to be, before society and familial programming begin to seep into our thoughts and wire our belief system.

This life is meant to be joyfully and fully lived. If you’re hurting emotionally, feeling lost, confused, unmotivated, overwhelmed, it’s okay. There are healthy ways to cope and soothe, and ways to understand the root cause of why you’re feeling the way you’re feeling. There is a way out, I am living proof, and I share my story with you because it is why I am here today. I’ve long studied the many ways to understand the mind, body, and soul connection at a deeper level to become a Self-Care Coach.

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It’s not about finding who you are again, it’s about uncovering who you were meant to be, removing limiting beliefs and behavioral programming that isn’t and has never been yours. I was playing small by not sharing my voice and by dimming my light––not owning my dreams and desires because I was led by fear and doubt––and my heart began to shut down. If we are not seen and witnessed and remain in that inward-space of sorrow, the heart and soul suffer deeply. We numb ourselves, and when we feel numb it’s because our emotions are at capacity, for they haven’t had a safe space to be released.

Daily rituals, self-care practices, and mental wellness are not “nice-to-haves,” they are “must-haves” to bring us back to our heart center and remember our authentic power. We are all powerful and uniquely designed beings intended to thrive and live happy lives. I struggled with confusion about my life’s purpose for many years because I thought fashion and beauty was the only thing out there for me. It had become “my thing,” and I was championed by so many because I fit the stereotype––the way I looked, the way I dressed, and truthfully, it was all I had come to know. I had spent my 20s and early 30s working in various capacities within the fashion and beauty space in NYC with a year-long stint in Miami, but it never resonated with my truth. I didn’t feel fulfilled. I knew in my heart there was something greater for me, that I was here to do more, to make a difference and to help people by sharing my story and what I’ve learned. To spread light, the same kind of light and energy that literally saved my life.

Throughout my 20 years of therapy, reflection, and self-healing, I uncovered why I experienced the highs and lows that felt so extreme. I was finally diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). What may sound like a dark cloud turned out to be my light source. My emotions, the good and bad, are intensified, and feelings of unworthiness and insecurity (among other things), while common, are truly present for me everyday. With such intense emotions, managing even day-to-day tasks, let alone the challenging moments in life, can be scary and overwhelming, especially when you haven’t been aware that you’re wired differently. Since BPD is not a chemical imbalance, it is treated through Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) as opposed to medication. It was up to me to take charge of my own life and my mental health and happiness.

I’m also a clinically-diagnosed highly sensitive person (HSP), an empath, and I have anxiety. HSPs often experience intensified reactions to their external surroundings, and an empath has the ability to understand and feel the emotions and energy of another person. I happily own my sensitivity, it’s organic to me. Early on in therapy, I wasn’t ready to be honest with myself about the emotional pain I was experiencing, so I kept most of what I was feeling hidden from my therapists, and even from my friends and most of my family. A moment of clarity in a narcissistic relationship forced me to both realize and address my habit of living my life for others instead of myself. It was then that I was ready to receive guidance and wake to realize my true purpose. When I was able to get to the root of each problem and receive the coaching and therapy I required, it changed my life. I can’t imagine being the woman I once was after going through my extensive—expansive and emotional—healing. Today, I understand what self-care and love is, how it looks for me, how to incorporate it into my everyday life, and how to manage my emotions mindfully.

We are able to choose how we show up for ourselves every day—how we continue to heal, learn, and flourish by curating what is going to bring us peace and joy. This can include everything from what we eat, the friends and family we surround ourselves with, the television, music, podcasts we listen to, the books we read, even our Instagram feed. If it’s not bringing you joy, it’s not yours. There is so much freedom in simply being you and standing strong in your self-worth, proudly owning who you are because this is your story. It’s up to you to make the choices in your life that are going to propel you forward, closer to your goals and dreams, and help you evolve into your higher self.

You deserve to be happy, loved, seen, and valued. When you can find your way out of the darkness, it’s magical because life is hard, messy, and complicated. I now know it’s my purpose to be a light for you. I am leading transparently with my wounds, my personal story of pain, resilience, and tenacity, which has led me to my awakening and mission in life. I enjoy connecting with people and establishing genuine relationships. I yearn to help people feel included and seen; it is something that I am naturally drawn to because I wanted that for myself.

I want to bring you back to who you were born to be and inspire you, encourage you, help you find ways to increase your self-worth through your own lens, and teach you how to love and care for yourself as you deserve. Let’s architect your ultimate tool kit so that you are able to succeed in all areas of your life and even beyond what you ever thought possible. We are wildly complex and beautifully multi-dimensional beings. We are too often faced with unique challenges, but cultivating a healthy support system and tool kit to gracefully achieve greater happiness, less stress, and more balance into your life is worth it. Daily self-care rituals, and emotional and mental wellness practices allow your emotions to be acknowledged, cared for, released, and held in a way that is unique to your personal wants, needs, and desires.

If emotions are held in a safe space and processed, we are free, it’s when we hold onto our emotions and ignore them that we lash out in dangerous and unhealthy ways. This coaching practice is founded on loving kindness and compassion without holding judgement. A safe container for you to be seen, heard, and valued for who you are because you’re whole and enough wherever you are on your journey, and you are worthy of living a happy life. We may begin our healing and spiritual path on our own, but we need a teacher to help us wade through the obstacles. When we have the ability to put ourselves and our personal well-being first, and ask for thoughtful care, guidance, and coaching, we will stop feeling stuck. We will stop playing small because there are endless sources of joy and happiness meant for you. I’ve spent the last decade immersing myself with self-care rituals, wellness practices, and mental health science, studying in earnest to better understand my fascination with the mind, body, and soul connection. I am able to provide exceptional coaching skills for you to be free to live a happier, balanced, grounded, and mindfully present life in your wise mind and soul as authentic, proud you.

I’m so happy you are here. I champion all forms of therapy and coaching that lead to your own personal inner growth and expansion. It's a priceless investment in one’s present and future-self. Are you ready to choose yourself? With a very tender heart, I’m here for you when you are.